CineFile Video

Plot outline: A pulpy, stylish thriller about a Mafia hit man who falls for the mother of the two-year-old witness to one of his contract slayings.

Writer-director Larry Cohen is drunk on cinema, which would explain why a great deal of his movies are so hazy. “Perfect Strangers” abounds with boozy, staggering energy, whipping along at a brisk pace, without any time for you, the viewer, to ever say to yourself “Gee, wasn’t that plot point majorly retarded!” Aiding and abetting in this glorious mess are a few original songs by Michael Minard, who also did the music for Cohen’s “Special Effects” (which also came out in 1984 right alongside “Perfect Strangers”.) Might I point out that these songs are similarly, uh…well, you’ll soon get the idea.

Michael Minard - I’m A Shadow On The Walls of The City (MP3)
Michael Minard - Mama, Look What The Big City’s Doin’ To Your Little Boy (MP3)
Dwight Dixon - end credits music (MP3)

Blood And Concrete: A Love Story

We know that Jennifer Beals can dance, as evidenced in — well, “Flashdance”, of course, but did you know that she could also croon? “Blood And Concrete” is an oddity from that great period of American independent film, the pre-Tarantino/post-Soderbergh late ’80s/early ’90s where quirkiness wasn’t simply just a required means to an end, a period that also includes “Motorama”, “Rubin and Ed” and “Sonny Boy”.

Jennifer Beals - “One Girl In A Million” (MP3)

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege

It’s hard to defend this film, so I won’t bother. I know it’s total shit, but for an inexplicable reason I have a soft spot for the backwards, drooling simpleton of a franchise known as “Police Academy”. This clip perfectly explains why; here we have Lt. Hightower (Bubba Smith) and the mousey Sgt. Hooks (Marion Ramsey) questioning a coupla street performer MCs about the whereabouts of a suspect…or something. The MCs respond in rhyme, so Hightower and Hooks reply back…in rhyme…or something. The rhythm and timing of the way the sequence is edited is so poor that none of the four actors in the scene are on beat for more than a few seconds at any given moment.

“Police Academy 6″ interrogration rap (MP3)

Private Duty Nurses

George Armitage (”Grosse Point Blank”, “Miami Blues”) wrote and the directed this above-average sexploitationer for Roger Corman in ‘71 as a quick sequel to Corman’s enormously successful “The Student Nurses” (1970). It’s full of the usual catty bickering and sexcapades one would expect from a bunch of young women in the nursing profession, but during a “party” sequence, there’s also this snappy foot-stomper by an uncredited rock band…

“How’s That Treatin’ Yer Mouth, Babe?” (MP3)

I’ve gone back and forth over the years on what I think about Robert Altman’s film musical version of “Popeye”. It used to be a childhood cable TV favorite of mine, but having seen it recently on DVD, I’m convinced that it sucks bigtime. The usual steam with which Altman’s work chugs along is mostly petered out here, with hardly any laugh-out-loud moments to show for the cast’s efforts. Whatever you think of the film, it’s impossible to deny the giddy feeling one gets when hearing Harry Nilsson’s original songs from it (P.T. Anderson, you could say, is the soundtrack’s biggest fan, having used the Shelley Duvall song “He Needs Me” throughout his own film “Punch-Drunk Love”.)

The LP never made the leap on the CD format, and Nilsson’s demos for the material, recorded in a drunken haze on location in Malta during the film’s shoot, have never surfaced in any official form. In many ways I prefer the soundtrack version, but the strange buried vocal mix of the final product occasionally is overshadowed by Nilsson’s heartwrenching yet off-the-cuff performances, as in the beautiful track “Din’ We.”

cast of the film - “Popeye” soundtrack LP (ZIP file)
Harry Nilsson - “Popeye” soundtrack demos (ZIP file)

Here’s another one from the soon-to-be-gone 7 Black Notes archives that we’re proud to re-post. The site’s propriator, Nate Thompson, wrote:

“In this amped-up successor to Tommy, Roger Daltrey stars as the popular composer whose bedroom conquests and long-running feud with Richard Wagner turn into opulent setpieces involving vampirism, a fascist Frankenstein monster stomping around with a machine gun, Ringo Starr as the Pope, and an organ-powered rocketship filled with scantily-clad women. Your average biopic this ain’t. The soundtrack adapts several famous Liszt themes and climaxes with the rousing “Peace at Last,” presented here in both its album and extended movie versions. Russell and Wakeman later reteamed in the mid-’80s for another classically-influenced score, “Crimes of Passion”, which is far more readily available.”

Rick Wakeman - “Lisztomania” soundtrack LP (ZIP file)

Plot outline: Biker wars between black and white gangs. The Serpents, a gang of white bikers, discover that they have been infiltrated by a member of the Choppers (a real black motorcycle gang hired for the film) who is passing for white. An all-out war erupts between the two gangs.

This ultra-gritty and foolhardy biker flick has only a handful of interesting moments, and is full of the usual sub-genre cliches — BUT — randomly stuck in the middle of the film is a montage of one of the main characters riding his chopper through the streets of Los Angeles, set to the absolute lamest acoustic hippie ballad known to man. Upon seeing the film with former Cinefile owner Ed a number of years ago, we had to rewind the scene and play it over several times, just to make sure that the lyrics to the song was actually what we heard.

The Black Angels - “The Cigarette Song” (MP3)

Plot outline: While facing the stress of his play being produced on Broadway, a playwright (Al Pacino) deals with having to raise his sons, his stepdaughters and his sons’ friend.

I’m gonna guess that Pacino’s agent, after having his client star in the ultra-lurid “Cruising”, thought it best for Al’s career if the actor were to suddenly leap from exploitation to family-friendly fare. Whatever the case may be, “Author, Author” is the height of ’80s cinematic banality, and Pacino’s participation in it is more shocking than anything shown on-screen during “Cruising”. The greatest insult may be the film’s end credits song, “Coming Home To You”, which is “sung” by Michael Franks; upon listening to this song, you get the distinct impression that Mr. Franks had never uttered a note in his life before stepping in front of the mic to record it, for it is just a wretched, wretched performance. The lyrics don’t help, either. I do enjoy those wildly out-of-place disco drum pad noises that wander in from time to time, though –

Author, Author - “Coming Home To You” (MP3)

Do you know why this movie is shit upon so much? I don’t. It’s actually both funny and entertaining. In it, Jeffrey Jones gives the most fevered, frenetic and brilliant performance of his career, and Tim Robbins also checks in, portraying the first of what would be several great “goofy” roles for him throughout the ’80s (see also “Tapeheads”, “Bull Durham”, “Erik The Viking” and “Cadillac Man”.) Also, the special effects are pretty top-notch.

So why does “Howard The Duck” have such a terrible reputation? Perhaps it’s because George Lucas’ name was attached to it as producer, and everyone was expecting another “Star Wars”/”Indiana Jones”-like spectaulcar, but instead got a huge mouthful of duck jokes. Or perhaps it’s the only PG-rated film ever to have multiple jokes about beastiality. Bad Movie Planet sums it up like this:

“The ‘Howard The Duck’ from the comics was a witty, satirical character that had strange adventures with even stranger foes (the Kidney Lady, Dr. Bong, Status Quo). This movie wasn’t witty….the jokes all boiled down to ‘Hey! He’s a duck! Get it!?’. Man, there’s only one or two times that’s going to funny…and even then it ain’t that funny.”

Okay, so maybe the movie does suck after all. Here’s the soundtrack by John Barry and Thomas Dolby.

“Howard The Duck” soundtrack (ZIP file)